Hrishikesh's Journal

 On a lonely Sunday in my 35th year on this planet, I still wonder who I am.  For any mundane purposes, I will always be known and remembered an aggregated sum of my choices/decisions. 

 I was fired yesterday. I received a call from a founder informing me about the decision. I expected feedback, but who values those conversations. And with it, I lost the only certainty I had around financial inflow. This is bad when you have all your dreams and plans intertwined with your work and career. So, my brain spent the day and most of the night musing over how we got here. Sometimes, I blamed myself; sometimes, I blamed the company. After all, it had to be someone's fault. And there are so many possible combinations that I finally began to write down everything I thought I wanted to remember and hold on - for my career changes and life situations. 1. My writing skills: I want to say it out loud - my writing skills are not excellent. I prioritize expressing complex ideas over being grammatically correct. Once in a while, the thoughts go faster, and my writing ends up with a few typos here and there. Now, when it comes to leading marketing, this is unacceptable, and I ...

My goals for life: Write a journal/book Take that one trek Oratory & English writing skills Make an album Write letters Gardening - plant trees One Social Activity Take up marathon Fund good organizations running on donations Cosmetology

He lifted himself out of the bed and, with heavy feet, tried to walk out of the gloomy, dark room.  "It was such fun," she exclaimed. As his heart drifted out of the room, his body turned around and withdrew with a half-hearted smiling 'yes.' He walked away to save himself from her happy and smiling eyes. Only far enough to have her out of his eyes, not his mind.  As he opened the window, the wind dashed on his face with a thousand questions. The silence seemed deafening as his mind screamed with rage and anger. And among these all, he stood betraying his own beating heart.  The more he thought, the more he could not understand what he was missing. As the night stared back at him, he wondered if he was childishly yearning for an impossible feeling. The feeling of overwhelming passion which destroys the mortal disciplines of daily life. He wanted to burn in the fire of her desires. He wishes she would consume all of him when he expresses her love.  He wanted ...

I rarely have a feeling where I hate my friends. But sometimes, I just cannot help how bored things get with them. Just returning back from a trip to Goa, and I have so far 

I do not want you to always be rational, I know that is not possible. Allow your fears and inhibitions dictate how you react. Be angry, be sad, be happy and be disappointed. Be all that you can naturally be driven to. Shout and scream. I only wish I am the one who gets to be next to you when you do this or rather the receiver of love that is untainted by human logic and social rationale.  I want to grow to be able to take all of these whims and frenzies. And still look into your eyes with lots of love and a feeling of understanding. I grow strong to take these without questions and without any judgement, for you are nothing more than a human, same like I am. Dont ever want to feel the need for justification of how I might have felt. I understand that sometimes, it is easier for me to be sensible that my partner who is feeling uncontrolled surge of emotions.  When reason evades you, I know, more than any wisdom in the world, you would need and crave for my love. And I will...